


I'll walk through hell with you

by Miss_Kitten



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mention of attempted suicide, Mild Angst, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 00:42:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6882454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Kitten/pseuds/Miss_Kitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader, assigned to help Bruce, develops deeper feelings for him. She overhears him telling the Avengers he did try to take his life and, later, confronts him about it, and in the process reveals her feelings. Bruce is too shocked to say anything, which for reader means only one - he does not feel the same, therefore she has to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll walk through hell with you

* * *

You were assigned to assist doctor Banner as soon as he arrived at Helicarrier with the rest of soon-to-be-full Avengers. Nick Fury announced that he wouldn’t let him and, later, Stark demolish his lab, therefore someone was needed to oversee them.

He chose you, as one of the most trusted and skilled physicians. You had also enough knowledge of biology and genetics to be of help in case such was required.

Bruce didn’t complain. He was quite happy, to be frank, especially after finding out you were eager to learn more and to examine Loki’s scepter as much as he was. Bruce was a great teacher, patiently explaining factors or details you didn’t know about. He often asked you about your opinion on the progress and process itself, which only made you respect him more.

He was quiet, sometimes distant. Oftentimes, you felt as if you were working alone; Bruce was always so focused, so lost in his tests he was practically disappearing. Yet, you enjoyed working with him. You understood each other without words – often, you handed him results before he asked for them. It didn’t change even after Tony Stark joined you.

And so, during the time you spent only with Bruce, you noticed that you had developed something deeper that co-workers bond. You fell in love with him, and although it was scaring you to the bone, you knew that eventually you would have to tell him.

You just didn’t know how and when.

_____

Few days had passed and your feelings started to fight regular battles inside you. At that very moment, your insecurity was winning but only a moment ago you were convinced that there was no other option but tell Bruce how you felt about him.

Shaking your head, as though it would help with getting rid of your thoughts, you headed to the lab. You, Bruce and Tony were supposed to run some more tests on the scepter. You had yet to discover the structure of the stone inside it and its abilities, but you had some ideas you wanted to share with both scientists.

“… I didn’t try it? I shot myself and you know what? The Other Guy split the bullet out.” Bruce snapped bitterly and coldly and you froze in place, leaning against the wall close to the entrance to the lab.

You were beyond shocked. Truthfully, you felt heartbroken. You could only imagine how much Bruce was suffering because of his second nature. You were aware he was reserved and silent in attempt to remain calm and not lure the beast from its hide, but suicide? It never crossed your mind, you never thought Bruce was able to do such thing.

Apparently, he was.

A cold shiver run down your spine and made its way under your skin and deep into your bones, paralyzing you completely. You knew you wouldn’t be able to go into the lab now and pretend that you didn’t hear what you heard.

Doing first thing that came to your mind, you pushed yourself from the wall and went back to your small room. You sat on your bed and propped your elbows on your knees, placing your chin on your palms.

A thousand of thoughts were running wildly in your mind, none of them sane or logical. You wanted to help him, yet at the same time you feared that you might push him to take his own life again. A mere thought of Bruce with a gun or a rope in his hands made you choke on thin air and, much to your surprise, you felt tears running down your cheeks.

You didn’t feel pity, it wasn’t that. You were utterly sad that he was all alone with his other personality, that, by himself, he had to deal with what had been done to him.

You straightened your back.

 _He doesn’t have to be alone anymore_ , you thought and with that, after wiping the wetness from your face, you walked out of your room and went back to lab, hoping that only Bruce would be there.

Luckily for you, he was alone.

“Y/N!” he greeted you with small smile, “I started to worry.”

“No need to, I just…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say. You didn’t think of any good excuse in case you would decide to not tell what you had heard earlier, so you just stared at him. His expression was growing more and more concern as you still said nothing.

“Y/N?”

“I heard it, Bruce. I heard what you told the rest. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I was just… near,” you admitted, looking away from his face, too ashamed to even glimpse at him.

“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce said dismissively, emotionless and you raised your surprised gaze at him.

“It does. I’m trying to understand why did you do it. You’re an amazing man, an intelligent scientist, my god, a genius! You’re worth thousand Starks, if I’m honest.”

“I didn’t think about myself that way back then, Y/N. My brain kept repeating ‘You’re a monster, Bruce’ and I simply couldn’t stand it any longer. I was scared and confused,” he said patiently as if explaining another formula to you, not the reason he tried to kill himself, “and I was alone. I think that that was the main reason. Loneliness. Well, not entirely, The Other Guy was always with me, but…”

“I get it,” you interrupted, giving him a soft smile. You noticed it was hard for him to speak about it and you didn’t want to cause him any more pain or discomfort. Slowly, you came to his desk and he fixed his rather confused eyes on you.

“You don’t need to be alone, Bruce. No more loneliness. I can promise you that, if you want me to,” you managed to say, your throat however was clenched with anxiety. Yet, you started and so, you had to finish your confession. You took a deep breath before you whispered.

“I’m in love with you.”

It seemed Bruce forgot how to breathe, how to move and how to speak as he just looked at you with wide opened eyes filled with dread and what seemed to be panic. He tried to talk, but only opened and closed his mouth over and over again.

And that was more than enough of an answer for you. You jerked your hand back and nodded.

“Here, in this file, you have my ideas how to examine the stone. I also wrote some suggestions about the formula Tony is trying to solve. Please, give it to him,” you said sternly, trying your very best not to fall apart right in front of him.

And then, you left, not looking back at still frozen Bruce.

You didn’t see how he hid his face in his hands, growling with frustration. You never heard his fervent rambling when Tony walked into the lab and asked where were you.

You were oblivious to any of that, but you didn’t care. You wanted to disappear, to run away and never ever see Bruce again. And that was why you went straight to Fury, asking for a private conversation.

The two of you were standing in a room he usually used for conversations with the heads of governments.

“Agent, what’s the urgency?” he asked, watching your pale face and shaking hands.

“I can’t work on the scepter. I’m afraid it starts to affect me,” you replied right away with an excuse you came up with as you darted to see your boss.

“Oh, Y/N, we both know that’s bullshit. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to be doctor Banner’s assistant,” you said, out of breath and Nick studied your expression for a while and then nodded, resting his hand on your shoulder and squeezing it reassuringly.

“How’s medical ward working for you?” he asked softly, giving you a father-like smile.

“Medical ward is just fine,” you forced a smile and Nick sighed as you turned to walk out the door, “thanks, Nick,” you murmured, looking at him over your shoulder and he nodded again. Even if he didn’t say it out loud, he was worried. You were always the strong and reliable one and now, when you seemed so vulnerable, so fragile, he wanted to have a very long and very painful conversation with Banner.

Yet, the only thing Fury could do for you right now was to make sure Banner would not bother you.

______

You didn’t have much time to think after your moving to medical ward. There were few patients to tend on, yet as soon as the chaos with Loki started, and the Avengers began fighting to defend the Earth, you were busy as a bee.

Before the Helicarrier went down, you and the rest of medical crew was taken to the City and from there you had watched the battle. You were happy that you were on the ground, but your heart was full of worry and dread for the people who were on the Helicarrier, plenty of them were your friends, after all.

Fortunately, you didn’t have a chance to see the battle – from the hospital you were transported to, all of you were moved to a further places, out of danger and reach of aliens.

Only once you had seen Bruce. Or, more specifically, the Hulk. You were rushing to a van and down the road you saw the beast, who apparently was guarding you from the enemies. It looked over its shoulder and locked its – _Bruce’s_ – eyes with you. Its expression softened for a brief moment, before it threw itself into fighting again.

That was a month ago, and since them you had no idea where Bruce was.

_______

After the events in NY, you had settled in the hospital Fury sent you into. You liked the job and people you were working with, and that was enough for you to slowly feel better.

You also changed your flat. The previous one was actually devastated after the battle, but still – new place to live was something you needed and you gladly moved in to small apartment on the highest floor of tall building.

All was good.

However, you missed SHIELD, you missed Nick (he was still sending you messages, but you hadn’t seen him), you missed the Avengers, but most of all – you missed Bruce. You were too afraid to call him, fearing that he wouldn’t pick up. And going to him was surely beyond you.

So, you just waited, hoping that your broken heart would heal in time.

_____

You were having a day off, the first one since you started that job. You finally got as much sleep as you wanted and now, you were watching TV, eating a breakfast. You didn’t expect anything but a lazy day.

A quiet knock on your door wasn’t present in your plans.

Frowning a little, you got up and went to the door, opening it.

“Bruce?!”

“Hello, Y/N, hope I’m not disturbing,” he mumbled, looking at you shyly and you couldn’t help but smile.

“No, come in,” moving to a side, you let him in and close the door.

Bruce was looking around your place, his hands hidden in his trousers’ pockets, his lips were twitching nervously and you folded your arms over your chest, waiting for him to begin. You didn’t want to make it easy for him.

“Y/N, I came to, uhm, apologize for my behavior back there in the lab. I was utterly surprised,” he said, moving one of his hands to scratch the back of his neck.

“I figured that.”

“And I didn’t say anything, because your confession scared me. I wasn’t sure what The Other Guy will say about it, and I didn’t want to harm you in any way. I did, after all, I know that and I’m very sorry, I really am,” he took a step closer to you, looking you straight in the eye with desperate need for you to understand how he felt and to show you how he was feeling right now.

“So, what’s Hulk’s opinion?” you asked after a while, a smirk dancing on your lips. Bruce cracked a smile, evidently relaxed and more confident as he closed the gap between you and him and placed his hands on your waist.

“He likes you.”

Your grin broadened and you wrapped your arms around Bruce’s neck.

“And what about doctor Banner?”

“Well, that guy’s crazy about you, Y/N,” he whispered and leaned in to close the last space between the two of you, taking your breath away.


End file.
